Good byes!

Yes , it is never easy! To say goodbye to someone.. Or some place.. Or something that you really loved! Isn’t it.. It’s a moment, etched in your memory..forever! 

 The day you move out of college , and you say goodbye to the new friends you had..it was only 2 years.. But the friendship lasts much longer.. 

 …..the day when you are standing at the passage , waiting for the gates to open.. And suddenly she comes up and says hi! You blush, coz she is the prettiest gal in your batch..and she always made a point to say hi, when the eyes meet , at matunga station, when you are waiting for the train to get back home! And you as a rule wont look or talk to gals, coz you thought college is only for studies, getting a good score , and getting into medical! 

 So a morning hi wasn’t a norm for her! How and why did she do it today! 

 She only answered it- hi ! How are you? 

In front of 30 people, who re staring at you [ not exactly you, they are staring at her..coz she s looking really pretty today!], it isn’t easy to muster an answer! Haha! 

 So you just mutter a –hi! M good!...[in return!] 

 Those eyes catch yours [ and you get mesmerized ,as in the movies! Right? Noooooooooo!!!] And you dunno why in front of the class this had to happen.. 

 She speaks out- so today is my last day in college[ this was just 6 months into eleventh std..junior college]! My family is moving to usa and we are leaving this weekend! I just thought to meet you and say goodbye! You re a sweet guy, i will always remember you! 

 You dunno what to say or do, so all you mutter is- GOODBYE!

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Its her birthday today! 

 ..and she had asked you those intelligent questions on valentines day! I want to know your views on love marriage? You had said that you would let your parents decide![ you knew why she was asking you this…and she was a really nice person, a gem in fact.. But you still lied!] 

                        She was not gonna give up that soon.. But why would you not go for it? What if the gal is really sweet and nice, and cute? What if she met your parents and they liked her too? [ again you knew why she said this, and what she meant!] 

 But this time you did not answer back! Maybe cz you liked her too! But you knew your state of affairs, and you felt that she deserved someone with better finances..lol, those were the immature days! You would always want the other person happy, and even if you knew that no one could keep her more happy.. You would still give up! 

 So at 3am , your phone rang! In your sleepy state you pick up the receiver[ landline days, we didn’t have mobiles then!]! 

             It was her voice at the other end..why did you not come? Its my birthday today.. I waited , and you werent there?? [ really difficult question at 3am, right???] 

 So you didn’t go coz you didn’t want to be there. You wanted the other guy to ask her out.. He was rich, fair and a decent jab too! And if you were there, she wouldn’t interact with them! Your guess was right.. 

She said in a smothered voice.. He proposed to me tonight? What do I say? You better tell me! Is this why you didn’t turn up? And is this why you changed your college in the second round? Why, you could have asked me too?! [omg! 3am questions are always genuine! And you cant evade them either!] 

  What do I tell him, you better tell me! You re my best buddy and you gotta say it now![ when a gal says it, with the word ‘now’ in it, you know what she wants as the answer!] And this was also your best buddy, who you wanted to be in better hands! 

So you muster some courage and say.. Tell him – yes!! 

 There s a long pause….. And then the familiar voice says it again.. But why should i say yes to him? [again a difficult one at 3am] . You don’t have a convincing answer to this ..but you still say.. Say yes cz he likes you and will keep you happy. [ nah! You are bad at lying, neither does your voice sound convincing..cz its choked too!] 

BUT your head overrules that piece of muscle that pumps continuously! 

  Fineeeeeeeeeeeeeee! If that is what you want, I will do it.. Cz I have always told myself that I will do as you say!

Yup.. You whimper, and say GOODBYE! And you place the receiver back!

 ****************************************************************** 

 She was a sweet lil child, just 8 months old.. She had been placed into your hands in the opd..

  Mesmerising eyes! That’s what you saw when she peeped into yours and whimpered.. Cryyyyyy! 

 Her parents had got her cz she had severe breathing difficulty and her mom felt her heart beating out of her chest! An echo diagnosed her with a complex congenital heart disease and surgery was her only chance at life! She was as cute as the moon. 

You treated her respiratory infection and developed that sweet bond that fathoms trust between her family and the doc! As a resident you would not know much about the criticality of the surgery or its outcome. But you wanted her to get better and go home completely cured. Every evening you would talk to the parents and say, she will be fine! Trust in god! 

 Then the day arrived and she was wheeled in, her surgery was underway! Since you were in the icu, managing the patients, you didn’t have an idea of what went on in the ot! Then they got her out and shifted her in the icu! 

She was not doing as you had expected! Her bp was low and the heart rate went down. The seniors quickly gave her a cpr.. She was revived! But another 10 mins and she was sinking again. This time quickly her chest was cut open and an internal massage was given! Damn, the heart wouldn’t start this time..and after an hour of cpr , they called it off! 

 You were called upon and asked to declare! This was the most dreadful part and this was what i never felt i would do with respect to this specific kid. I met her parents outside the lic [cticu]. Her father and mother came running? 

What is it doc! How is she? Is everything ok?? Im sure it must be, she is with you guys.. And in safe hands!

Jeez ! This is so so uncomforting for the doc to break a bad news when they say that! You dunno what to do.. But you have to say the truth. You tell them what happened.. And you see the mother s face go pale. She sinks in front of you. The father clasps his face and cups his eyes.. He too kneels down and sits next to her mom.they cry sooo much… and your hearts breaks real bad.. Breakups do hurt, but nothing as compared to this! sometimes the pain in others lives take out the pain from yours. your 24hr muscle goes numb…like numbbbbb!!! 

 Then they get up, after a while and your sister in charge says that they want to meet You ,Again!!! God! You don’t know what s gonna happen next. You are equally sad! So again you step out of the icu and you See two sad faces, those forlorn and lifeless eyes stare at you! 

 The mother comes forward, and holds your hand! She says.. I know you must have tried everything, we have full trust in you! But sometimes it s all in his hands..pointing at the mandir just outside the lic. She sees that you have moist eyes too, and tells you… thank you for how you made her feel during her stay in the ward. I wanted to say this! And then the father gives you a hug too! 

And then as they walk out, they turn back and say- GOODBYE!