A tale of TWO stories!

Well.. I woke up today and stood at window… and I see so many kids, couples,etc in their colourful attires and hands full of tattoos and bands.. and im wondering..WHY? what is so different about today [did we decide to celebrate Olympics differently this year cz it s in RIO this yr???..Samba style maybe!!!!]..

…that’s when my ole friend pops up in his blue and white dress with the red icon and whispers-
FB wishes Swarup a very happy friendship s day!

So that solved the mystery behind those Sightings that I was talking bout…duhh!

So today was friendship s day..hmmm. I had a lot of friends too, but the busy truant ‘LIFE’ and his buddy ‘CIRCUMSTANCES’ took them away from me, albeit for a lil while.. so that one can enjoy and make new friends with the new kids on the block,viz ‘seclusion’ and ‘aloofness’!

My memories went back to the very first HFD that we celebrated …the good ole RUPAREL ‘deutsche div’ days! I still remember my lab partners’ woes[hehe]..

It was the first day of college and you start off with your Physics lab [gr floor..all ruparelities will know!] You re expected to do the experiment with your lab partner and the choice is[ not yours]… your roll no decides the pairing! So as I took the equipment tray and sat on my table.. waiting for the other one to join ..mins trickled by.. no one had showed up[or taken up the risk to be on the same table as me..haha]! I set up the experiment and in due course completed it! No sign of 1,2,3 or four! So on the next lab I repeated the same ritual and this time I did not wait..started arranging the stuff on the table when Ms S Phadke arrived. A gal with the ‘Titanic hands on greet pose’ [as I call it] uttered... "Hi im SP"[ with the outstretched rt hand pointing towards me, slightly plantar flexed at the wrist joint] I was taken unaware.. what am I supposed to do now.. my mind said run away, this looks like trouble! I looked around and saw Prashpaul with his sheepish grin staring at me.. the look in his eyes told me-" Beta aaj toh tu marega.. hum toh rulayenge tujhe!" Damn.. why do gals see Titanic and think that they re Kate Winslets.. Kate wore a glove when she handed her hand and Leo went down on his knees to acknowledge! Ab log real life mein bhi aisa karenge kya… I somehow managed to mutter "HI, lets finish the experiment".

As it turned out madamE' did not have the journal nor the rough book. And this continued till eternity. So my rough jounal would be traded after every practical and the readings would be copied in fair. I was really afraid of the opposite sex at that point in life[ now toh I ve nightmares ..thanks to the fairer sex!..but that’s beyond the point]..so whenever I caught a sight of madame outside the confines of the lab, in the huge corridor or on the stairs.. I would just make a run for the door! And behind me would come the whole PP gang of friends[.. or foes..dunno which was more true!] ..woh perennial chidana[ that’s how it starts at junior college.. someone s caught staring at you and/or vice versa.. and ur paired!] I soo wish I can narrate your stories too..prash,fahd,aman,arun,arvind but then I don’t wanna be thrashed by your better halves[ so next time, I ll do so but I ll change ur names] So im being good to all of you!

Coming back to ruparel XI std.. suddenly on one lab day I see everyone dressed in red and white/black..esp the gals and I wonder why? I meet my schoolmate Neha.W[she s in another div of ruparel] ..she s sporting this new hairdo..something like how the hair looks after the nuclear bomb blast and the smoke rising like a mushroom …the hairstyle looked similar..she comes and yells. .happy friendship s day man!
I ve known her since the beginning of school , but till the last day of school, I had never seen her so weird! Or colourful should I say..cz her hands were handcuffed with ribbons of all colours possible plus lots of graffiti too all over the forearms! That was when I realised for the 1st time in my life that there s this day too..and its different from raksha bandhan that we had in school.. [though neha only tied a rakhi to hari,all these yrs; and I would often wonder why? Whats so special bout hari… and now if hari happens to read this ..im sure he ll kill me..hahaha]

So after that as I made my way into the lab, I could see my KG buddies [kamina gang!] waiting to pounce..
I said to myself ..bas do ghante ki baat hai..lab khatam karke bhaag jayenge!yesss![that was my intelligent plan]

And then as I set up the experiment, a ‘lady in red’ arrives and before I know I ve a red ribbon around my wrist! Oh no… ab toh full waat.. then OUT comes a rose.. and you now know for sure that you are DOOMED! Thankfully those days we had no mobiles/fb/whatsapp so things had to be done for real.. no trolling someone on social media..it happened then and there itself!damnnnn!grrrr! I somehow managed to finish and run ..only to be caught by KG! and as they trolled and ragged.. out of nowhere appeared Ms M Mai[ jaan bujhke im writing it in German] and says- hey HFD and ties another ribbon..and the colour is RED! [ I ve never hated the colour red as much as I did on that day, simply cz its construed to mean something ..every coloured ribbon had a meaning.. and we all know what red stood for!] so after that .. I could not figure out when the kaminey guys left me in peace![the rants went on n on n onn..] Then I tried my best to undo the ribbons before I reached home cz I was HELL sure I ll be dead..[but mom dad were quite cool about it, much to my dismay!] and I told them that it was not my fault …[ thankfully I had a few more ribbons too apart from the reds at the end of the day..phew] ..blah blah.. [mom still has all the ribbons stacked in a box along with the school rakhis!]

And I just happened to remember how far we have moved on.. in life.. leaving behind the good ole days!!!!!!Days of innocent fun..

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The next one Is about a good friend..lost in time.. but his story remains etched in my mind!!!!!!

As usual it has to happen at ….where else but..KEMH!

This one s about the guy next door..[sadly the gal next door didn’t exist during residency…gals had a separate floor in old RMO hostel]. Chahaveer was his name. He was doing Pediatrics, and this was his final year.. Veer had lost his dad as a child and his mom had single handedly brought up both her kids. Veer would soon take over the mantle and look after her and his sis! He wanted to fulfil that role asap!

As all parents do during residency, his mom too fixed up his match. [KEM has a history of kem-kem jodis esp during residency!..GSites will know this m sure] Urvashi was his match.. a sweet looking resident in another department. Though I knew her from my UG days.. she was the BJMC representative and we had fought for the rural bond earlier, I was happy that Veer was settling down with her. Soon the courtship started and one would often bump into them.. under the hostel tree or on the katta or outside the blood bank lawn or deans lawn…[couple spaces’ as In my lingo!]. I was happy for them and wished all good would happen to them. It was now engagement time..2 weeks hence and they would be engaged. I was thinking of what to gift them..and whether I was from the gal s side or veer s ?

Then suddenly one evening, that familiar knock on my door and a muffled voice!
I open the door to find a crestfallen and sordid face! "What happened re"..i ask him![ now, im really worried!] and then he slumps down and says ITS OVERR! What is over? [ I thought his thesis got rejected!?] I told him- "sit down and talk.. kya hua bhai?" He manages to mutter in delirium…"engagement tut gayi!" I am like –WHATTT!

Well as it happened, the engagement was scheduled after 2 weeks. And these guys were together for quite sometime by now ..and all was well.. so we were looking forward to the ceremony. Then someone from the gal s side suggested to do the horoscope match again..[a basic match was done earlier too, at the outset itself] . and at the second instance, our boy turned out to be a mangalik! And that evening, Urv s dad called off the engagement cz he didn’t want to marry his daughter off to a mangalik guy! And veer was broken. I said leave it.. u guys run off and get married.. we had enuff people to sign as witnesses!! Veer said that Urv had refused to go against her parents decision.. and though we tried and tried talking it out with her.. it wouldn’t happen! And we didn’t have any other option but to respect it..


Sadness was all around. He couldn’t handle it! Didn’t clear his exams..took to drinking..lost his confidence! And to see a good guy go through this was painful! We tried and slowly he came out of his shell.. started talking again, but the smile was gone! It was almost a year now after that incident...but sadness still prevailed!

It was match making happening at my end now.. a few proposals and then I got this proposal from a gal, non Bengali.. and she was a resident too . The gal s family knew everything about my whereabouts and I was pleasantly surprised. And I knew her ..on FB ..though I had never met her or spoken to her directly! It so happened that Rasika belonged to the same community as Veer. And I thought if we could pair them up somehow, our boy would find his lost smile AGAIN! But how? Her parents were constantly calling up my fellas! God! Something had to be done..and quickly!

That’s when my old friend in blue and white came to my rescue..
I typed in a message-

ME-Hi der..i kno itz kinda weird messaging you, but m doing it for a friend so I think its ok! My friend veer likes you and I guess his mom and sis too! I kno ur parents were talking to mine but veer and you belong to the same community so I thought it ll be nice if you consider him. He s a gr8 guy, nice, understanding and sweet and straightforward! But he s a mangalik and so he doesn’t kno how ur parents wud react! But all im gonna say is …luk at him as a person 1st..cz m not sure hw much one shud rely on horoscopes n al.. btw even he doesn’t kno tat im speaking fr him so let this b a secret! All the best to you guys and yes happy Diwali once again!

As I hit the enter key.. I just hoped tat she would consider this proposal.. and it wud be a happy Diwali for my friend!

I got a message after 3 hrs..
RASIKA- Hi Swarup-that’s really sweet of you as a friend to do al dis..but I thought my parents were looking at our match[ few angry smileys]..and you get a new proposal out of nowhere. I ll talk to my parents and see his profile. We don’t believe in horoscopes to such a deep extent but jus a basic match shud be done(I suppose)..newayz datz 4 my parents to luk 4.. m really happy to get a msg 4m u..bcz I jus wanna say ki ma I real BIG FAN of ur blog n ur wrk..its simple, realistic and funny..n above al v lively..thank u fr guiding me to kno ur frnd..n ve a happy n safe Diwali..tc..god bless

ME- thank u so much..surely my blog is not worth al tat praise!! Nywayz, al t best fr t future..bye tc

Needless to say I was sooo happy… [not cz she had praised my blog, silly!].. but cz she said that she ll consider!


I was busy with my 1st yr CVTS residency now..when one day Veer called..

Veer- Mar gaya yaar.. bada problem hai!
Me- kyu kya hua..
Veer- arre you remember Rasika na..jinka rishta aaya tha.. arre that friend of urs..ob-gyn rem?
Me- ohh yes yes.. but hua kya bhai.. itna kyu phudak raha hai..
Veer- yaar uske parents n she s comin to meet me..tonight at aditi 7.30 pm.. tujhe bhi bulaya hai..aur tujhe aana hi hai mere saath
Me- arre baap re.. but aaj toh mera emergency hai.. but tu call kar evening ko ..we ll see..na re
Veer- ok, but dekh latka mat dena..

Actually on that fateful day , I had an off call. But I wanted veer to go alone and talk. And get his self confidence going. Enough of someone speaking up for him[ ..and that had been done already, just that he didn’t know bout it.. my role was over..job done..over to him nw..ta da!!!!!!!!]
So from 7pm to 7.20pm I had 15 unanswered calls from him… I smiled, closed my eyes and prayed for a YES. Another heartbreak would shatter him completely.. and a yes will make his life.. !!!!!!!

After that day I was low key wrt him and her…. Didn’t know what had happened after the meet..CVTS residency means ur confined to your ward and floor, you really ve no idea whats going on in the world! Then after 3 mths I got an email … it was a cute card which read- Veer weds Rasika! Boyyyy.. I was sooo happy!

And that’s how that Diwali turned out to be the best for Veer…

Exactly after 2 yrs..in the autumn of 2013 I got a message from rasika .. and it made me really feel good!
It said..

So that’s how things can happen.. even when you re experiencing bad days… remember that nothing is permanent.. and eventually life will throw a surprise at you… and you will be smiling AGAINNN;-):-)

well thats how i remembered this day today...HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY! esp to all my friends whom i ve not met in a while.. its been a lil difficult phase, but this too shall pass...
till then.. keep SMILING!!!!

Media stin umm!!!!

Mom im homeeeee!!!. Dhudd! He slumped the school bag on the cot… quickly gulped all the food much to his mother s dismay, and ran off to play! All the guys were already waiting with the bat and the rest of the cricketing gear.. chalo mahi s come… toss k liye ready ho jao!!!!!!!!..then an evenly contested game and finally.. yippee we won…hurrah! cuts and bruises galore..to show up that the fun was real! That s how it used to be in the 90s..

Hi dude! Howzzat.. wats up bro! Lets play World Cup Cricket man.. yup..lets do it. Swoosh.. everyone switches on their cellphones and start the game! Welcome to the future guys…these re the kids of the new world.. where real play has got replaced by virtual play.. playstations re the new playgrounds.. and knife yielding buggers with babes as the prized catch re the new world trophies on display! And soft porn distributed and shared via Bluetooth/wifi re the new pastimes!

Thankfully we belonged to a generation where Sundays were spent with mowgli and tales spin and duck tales followed by family outings and evening games! But today we re all slaves to that piece of paper with a huge potential to buy and sell.. and so we ve no time to spend with the ones we love.. and before you could decide what to do with so much currency paper earned…ahhhh there s the HEART attack …Gateway to Heaven! Game over folks… better gameplan next time!
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There re quite a few things that bug me.. most of it coz I get furious looking at the way the media latches on to an insignificant incident and keeps barking bout it day and night , just coz it has some viewership!

This lady is a billionaire. She and her ex husband plotted and killed her daughter from her 2nd husband. Ohh.. what a cold murder! Jump in her druggist son who too wants a piece of the limelight!

For God s sake there s also a mother in some corner of the country where she walks 3km to buy vegetables and water for her kids so that they can study well and ve a future, unlike her! Why cant you highlight that and get some rich baron fund her children s education. Surely this will reap in more rewards than funding a bikini gals calender!

She was the lead actress in that TV soap. What a lovely gal..and then suddenly she decided to commit suicide! And now she is on the front page of TOI,HT,etc ..shez AAJ KI BADI KHABAR on all news channels… really interesting! I must say the gal did ve a great intellectual thought process going! Intending to marry a drunkard who still sleeps with his ex, separated her from her parents, made his ex hit her, withdrew all her money and used it in his production house, got the gal drinking and into drugs ..and what a sweet gal, she did oblige! And now shez gone, and the media holds her up for the national mourning!


For god s sake, there was one MHATARAKAKA who sold cotton. His district went without rains for 3yrs in a row. He mortgaged his land and bought more seeds and machinery with the belief that the next year would be different.. sadly wishes aren’t horses and so beggars cant ride! With no one covering his plight and no one coming forward to help him out and covering his story.. tonight silently after everyone had slept off.. he dimmed the lantern in the room, but took it close to his Mrunalini s face ..saw those lil innocent eyes and clenched fists.. he soo wanted to touch her one last time, but feared that he may wake her up.. and so just left… walked a mile into the field.. sat beneath the tree he had planted as a child which had now grown to a huge mass of wood, sans leaves..sans fruits..sans life! Thhhusshh..creaked the strong branch.. and now both were lifeless.. he remained connected to the tree with that rope around his neck! Clearly reporting this wasn’t a part of the media radar!

Shauryadeep was flying high today.. a great pilot in a wonderful piece of JUNK which made its way into our artillery thanks to some corrupt babus at the top! Crashhh.. luckily he ejected ..and to his misfortune landed SAFE and ALIVE..in the neigbouring country! He was caught, treated as a spy.. eyes were burnt and gouged out, fingers and testicles were crushed, urine was poured into his throat when he asked for a last drop of water and finally beheaded.. and the decapitated head was affixed to the barbwire at the border. Like him many others valiantly fought day in and out to keep these neighbouring infiltrants at bay.. and many lost their lives EACH day! But will you find this in the news..no.. had Shauryadeep n co been a HEROrithik whose affair with a starlet got busted ..they would ve been on every paper! Sad that our soldiers couldn’t be half as important as the heart throb actor and his dame!

He was an individual with such great character and poise.. Ohh what a lovely man he was.. he just drank and made merry with women ..bedded the gals at will, killed animals and a few social animals who had encroached on the footpath as their new habitat! They conducted a battery of tests and investigations and finally came to the conclusion that on that fateful day.. all he had was honey tea and the car in which he was seated was on autopilot mode and so it ran over the few unfortunate lesser known mortals, perceiving their heads to be Rocks. Clearly it was their fault and for which the families of the deceased should pay him some compensation![Footpath kya unki father ki propery hai jo wahaan pe so gaye!Huhh!] He was by no means guilty, WAS HE?.. plus he did some splendid work by setting up an organisation which encouraged people to be more human to the needs of other..and ironically squashed a few under HIS tyres too!


For God s sake, there was this poor 27yr old lad who was the sole bread earner in his family of 4 dependants.. someone who had not given up on his dream to be a part of the Indian Army! And today he was the LEAD in the contingent that would march in front of the Chief Minister on 26th January. He was elated.. he wanted the whole contingent to march properly in unison.
“ Jawaan aage badho.. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT..” he kept moving forward.. suddenly out of nowhere came a huge Innova and just busted him on the spot.. his lifeless body plonked on the ground… LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT.. and now a lifeless piece of mass was all that was LEFT!!!!!! The driver kept on going till he bumped into the road block. He scampered out and ran.. he knew that he was the minister s son.. and that made him an UNTOUCHABLE, but of a different kind! This issue couldn’t be pursued by the media.. and thus after 4 mths and still inspite of knowing the culprit, he still moves..a free man! Clearly deaths of mere mortals cant be covered in great details… …
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Chalo I had enough of my dig into the media.. lets DIG at some other place!

I still remember that in our days of residency, we would not know what was breakfast, if our room existed in the hostel, when was the last time we had a proper bath, how to request for an off call… but we did know that all the ward work had to be done, each patient assessed with proper examination findings, phone would always be on silent mode eternally, we would never dare pick up the phone when the senior was around, etc etc.. but welcome 2016 and my students … clearly times ve changed!


The patient has arrived in the OT, had to be catheterised by a senior, painted and draped.. and now royally our dudeSTUD ent [ and not dude student] walks in.. after the consultant has done what should ve been his job! The case starts and suddenly at the loudest pitch you hear a melody..SANAM RE sanam re..tu mera sanam hua re![wish the consultant could sing the next line for him which says…karam re karam re ..tera mujh pe karam hua re!] Surprisingly these days the consultant phones re on silent modes and the juniors ka phone s humming with activity! Last to reach and first to leave, these guys have the benefit to sleep with their beds and pillows each day wherein in the earlier days if you found a chair, you would be deemed lucky! Coz the ground was all we had! And asking them to monitor a patient overnight would clearly be a violation of the human rights act! I remember a few unfortunate ones who worked like dogs and still would be insulted and yelled at and kept out of the theatre! And now even the most ridiculous ones re working and getting stuff to operate cz of petty politics and big people behind them!

Sad.. And then there re bosses who ve done thousands and thousands of surgeries but still wouldn’t let some work percolate down to their juniors… clearly even if 1% of that was offered to the juniors , wouldn’t it be a different learning experience!


There were those days where after doing a new surgery even if it didn’t go as well as was planned we would sit and analyse what went wrong.. accept if something more could ve been done! Now if something goes wrong people discuss people ..surgery is left behind! Bitching bout someone clearly is the easiest thing to do.. the second most easiest is to find a PUG and pin the blame on him! We re all mere mortals, not God.. so things will go wrong. But people these days will never accept that! This is the era of success and how successful you are is determined by your numbers.. a 35yr old proclaims that I ve performed 10000 cardiac surgeries so far.. technically if you dissect you will find that for a guy who s being operating independently for say 4 yrs.. 10000 div by 4= 2500 cases/yr.. which means 2500 div by 12= 200+ cases per mth ..which means 50+ cases per week.. isn’t that a ridiculous figure. Maybe the counting for them is different now.. when they do their first case they must be noting it as my 3001 case done today.. the count begins! So clearly the truth is lost within the numbers! Hips don’t lie..but lips do![wink..wink]

Talking of medical life.. I cannot forget this new approach I ve encountered! Well, let me call it..
THE PATIENT S APPROACH TO A DOCTOR AND HIS ILLNESS!
Being a doc , you re bombarded with illnesses whenever you visit your relatives! And in the smartphone era people google it all! I had known a relative who I had diagnosed to ve a malignancy in its initial phase which could be resected. Clearly since the educated expert had read that people with malignancy lose weight , become cachexic, have pains, etc etc.. and coz these symptoms weren’t there ..he self diagnosed himself that he was disease free[supported by some quacks that reinforced his views] Finally after 2 mths when the symptoms started, the lesion was now inoperable with mets! Next question to me was where do I go nw.. obviously I suggested the best Onco-hospital in Mumbai! So he went to Vellore, Hyderabad, Chennai and Delhi.. and came back completely confused. So again he asked what should I do.. my answer was the same.. but I just wonder why people are like this today! Free advise should never be offered coz WHAT COMES FREE IS NEVER VALUED!

I often encounter people asking me ..my sugars re deranged and I showed my Cardiologist who started me on these 2 tablets.. but then I also showed my Diabetologist who says start Insulin.. should I listen to his advise or should I go with the first one..tablets re better na! See I fail to understand .. this situation is akin to asking an ortho guy to analyse ur ECG…or askin a neuroguy about which prosthesis to use for a TKR[total knee replacement] .. when you ve a guy specialising in a branch why cant you follow his advise for GOD S SAKE!

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Last but not the least as I end this angry piece of work I discovered an interesting person and I just wanted to share this…


I ve often shopped and bought stuff like mobiles, tabs, music systems.. and whenever I ask for a discount people don’t give you even a penny off.. moreover if they know you re a cardiac guy the price will go up by 10% at times. Even people capable of waivering some amount will never do so! But these same people will ask you endless questions about the heart and ask you to write medicines for free!

Beside my building is a lane. Walk for 5mins and on the right side you will find a lady with 3 small kids and an alcoholic freakingly maniacal husband who keeps harassing her all the time. She makes rotis and sells them for a living. She is extremely poor and sells each roti for 2 rupees. A lot of people returning home from office buy some rotis on the way back. Once when I had bought 3 rotis but had only 5 rupees , I told her that I will get another rupee in 5mins.. she said.. its ok babu you needn’t pay 1 rupee. I know its just a rupee but for her business it’s a 50% loss. I gave her that rupee. People who re rich don’t spare a dime and look at the poor..!! Plus when her husband was ill one day she asked me to give her some medicines which I gladly did! What surprised me more was that she took out 25 rupees and said please take it..these re ur fees.. you should take it! I didn’t know what to say.. I politely refused and sent her back!

Seems that the world isn’t that bad a place after all.. what say folks??????????!!!!!!

Till next time… AUF WIEDERSEHEN!