Search This Blog

Sunday, March 27, 2011

...an indecent proposal

Well.. I know that this reminds you of the movie starring Michael Douglas and Demi Moore (…just as I mention her name, the temp in my living room has soared to 40.2deg Celsius …must be due to the lack of the greenhouse effect,these days.. right na!!!)
… sadly this article does not bear any resemblance to the Hollywood flick, nor is it as interesting and enchanting as the sultry siren in the movie!!
…still if you want to read this lack lustre piece of work… go on.. I charge no fee and all my works are freebies!!

……well, it all started with Rashi( name changed to protect identity..heehee!!!) visiting me.. I was admitted in the cool and calm environment of our MICU and she had a genuine problem and needed my help..???!!!!! And I thought could there be a better way to provide cool solutions than 18deg cel of micuII[cooling solutions to help the ‘proposed’ do better.. eh …!!!!] She had a proposal from this guy (one of my fellas doing MCh CVTS first year…) and she wanted to know if-
1. He could spend enough time with her?
2. Would talk bout cardiac surgery all the while?
3. Would be fun loving or would he be a geek?
4. How long would it take post MCh for him to settle down?
5. Would he earn enough after that?(vis a vis the engineers/ mba s/ ias/ips/ca s/ cricketers!!!)
6. Would he spend time at home too… and would he take me out to outings and all?
7. And lastly..do you know him.. I mean, what kind of person is he?
Well, my head went into a spin… true I thought, a medico gal must be thinking on these lines before they decide upon an alliance…
And then I thought…oh god! Is being a medico guy[esp, CVTS], that bad a proposition after all!!!!!
Well I believe that if a child is destined to be a surgeon, then he should begin early, to be at par with his engineering/mba counterparts!![Else when you have a 6 fig bank account , they ve a 7 fig one.. just ahead by a single ‘zero’ only-/-] Nursery and kg should be done by the age of 3yrs. Ten yrs of schooling should be completed asap[preferably in 5 yrs….phew! whats taking you so long!!!].. schools should have everything taught in mcq format..
e.g-
Solve the following problem and then mark the correct ans-
Q. X2-4x -3=0, find the value of ‘x’.
[a]x=1 ,3 [b]x=2,3 [c] x=3,3 [d]x=1,2
Q.The Sign of Four was written by-
[a] William Shakespeare [b] J K Rowling [c] Shobha De [d] Sir Arthur conandoyle
Q. Where is the Khyber Pass?
[a] Iceland [b] Afganistan [c] India [d] Pakistan [e] Cuba
Q. Who built the QutubMinar?
[a] nawab siraj-ud-daula [b] nizam mir kasim II [c] qutub –ud-din-aibak [d] mohammed ghazni
Q. ‘Godaan’ kisne likha hai?
[a] munshi premchand [b] abdul kalam saab [c] Rabindranath tagore [d] amrit lal dubey
Q. ‘Tatera indica’ is the scientific name of which creature?
[a] mongoose [b] rat [c] bandicoot [d] mouse [e]gremlins

…blah…blah the list could go on..all this just to prepare you for the battery of entrances that you are likely to face in the coming years…!!!
After all the hard work and getting that prized mbbs seat [ provided ur dad is not a DONOR- matlab ki you ve not secured the seat via donations and all!!...coz that s the other way out; sans all the hard work…eat, drink and be merry..ho ho hum, and a bottle of rum!!]

NOW WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? Well, if ur gonna be a surgeon someday, that too a superspeciality one, then I strongly suggest that you should form an alliance at this age. Go ahead and look for a sweet lil cutsiepie and book her!! Bcoz if you end up becoming a CVTS guy like any of us- god save you buddy! Alliances will approach you with a questionnaire, and frankly im not sure what grade would you end up with!!! Ha ha!! And there s always a chance that your past alliance would de-book you ;since you are CVTS guy now, but why be so pessimistic yaar…optimism rules the world…so be it!!!![…thankfully I ve not had had this ‘questionable’ opportunity but the future looks bleak..and its giving me those shivers!!!... No wonder this is my third admission to the micu in 6 months! Ha ha ha!]

And when your parents ask you – what kind of gal are you looking for? [provided they ask you i.e…. coz mine are extremely lazy and keep telling me to do it by myself!! And I keep suggesting dad that post retirement this is the best thing to do..so plz do the needful, but he denies! Boo hoo!] tell them that a `simple, good natured, and understanding gal, who simply put, loves you; is all that you seek for!! Just don’t get into the medico vs non medico business….[I ve been strictly advised to stay put on this one, else the 3 musketeers sar mam, sam rege sir and karande sir re gonna kill me! And I wanna live…like a cannonball..hmmn, which song is that…westlife, nah.. which band guys,help me..looks like im having a failing memory..premature senility???too bad?? paaa…!!!!]

And then her voice ushered me from my sub conscious state to the conscious… tell me na, she asked!?? I told her- look rashi , I do not know how to put it but since u ve asked me let me try! I believe that you should look up to the[any] guy as a person first!!.. coz as a cvts guy , he ll be less fortunate than the others in terms of time as well as monetarily! But if the person appeals to you..just go for it is all that I would say! And if the other aspects are more imp then probably you would be dissatisfied! At the end of the day, its your call..nothing is right and nothing is wrong!!!!!!! Well, she got up with a slightly confused and satisfied look and left [ now plz don’t ask me the percentages of confusion and satisfaction!!! Ask her!!] … needless to say, I got a call from her this morning.. she has decided to assess him as a person first and ve tugged me into it by saying that I ve to take her to meet him…smart work gal! grrrr… [ and when I started telling her how busy my schedule is…shez roped me in by offering to help me find a gal for myself!! Waah! Thanks for the perk smarty!! True, I ve heard of the dental gals von nair/gdc thanx to another alien creature sitting in the lib and reading oncology the whole day! … I can see that with friends like the two of you, my future is indeed in secure hands!! I ve left it to destiny, so be it….ok.And im available for your match fixing business… as long as you don’t offer me the perks!!!!!!! He he!! So till then, just enjoy… while I read this sms sent to me by Mahesh which says-
What is the height of bad luck?
A boy and girl met last time
For a break up….
Girl s father caught them…..








Now they re a married couple!!!tc!!

I don’t know whether the tc[take care] was for the couple or me, but trust me Mahesh if at all I do something like that, I will indeed tc [ in fact I ll take a sprite –univ of freshology lesson before embarking on something like that..just love that ad.. wonder how many guys have been benefitted by it already]!!he he!!....and I hope this one wasn’t ur own doing doc? Wait.. I ll ask ur gal the next time I meet her! hmmmn!!


…well that s it folks, here is swarupdoc signing off… thanks for reading this insensible thing..lets do the dew now! !!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

And thereby hangs a tale….

I was speaking to my fast friend… we were speaking after a long time and so we had lots to share! And my telecom operator will tell you how generous I am under such circumstances!!! I really wish at times that getting hooked to a GM of a telecom company isn’t that bad an idea at all! What say, imagine not having to spend a penny on your phone bills, chat incessantly..without any bounds, free email and limitless social networking…wow, that is so cool!Well, they say that if wishes were horses even beggars would ride!! And I still haven’t found the wish fulfilling tree as yet ..and so these phone bills continue to burn a hole in my pocket (thanks dad mom, thanks for being there!!)…
……all this while when I was talking on the phone, I could hear someone wailing in the background..what was it?? Cross connection? Halluncination?( you know, in the olden days, when the lords used to stay in their castles in the moor, every castle had a ‘banshee’ and when it wailed, it signified bad luck..an omen that something evil would befall the family!!)with this grim sound in the background, I was just not comfortable. So I hung up and tried to find out what was wrong?and where? Just as I came out of my room, the sound of sobbing grew louder! And I followed my ears as they led me to this room with closed doors! Yes! I could hear someone sobbing inside. Now this room was occupied by one of our first year residents! I was sure that something was amiss.. I mustered all my courage and banged on the door..no response.. the sobs continued!... thud! Again I banged the door and asked her to please open the door and let me in… again, no response! Thick beads of perspiration from my forehead trickled down over my face! I could feel my heart beats’ now…palpitations as they call it! I picked up my cell and dialled her roomie s no..and quickly told her about the situation down here! She was here in a jiffy, and both of us were now banging at the door but with the same result!!!?? The sobs had stopped and gurgling noises were heard! Neither of us had any clue of what was happening… and both of us were equally flummoxed and terrified! We thought that its better to call the security….

Thud! The door slammed open… crash! As it fell on one side!!..we rushed inside!! And we were aghast with the sight that met our eyes! A lifeless body (of a sweet lil gal, not so long ago!) lay on the floor with a bottle of pesticide by the side! We realised that time was running away and if she stood any chance, we would ve to act soon. So while the security lifted her and carried her to the emergency wing of the hospital, we informed the team on call and saw to it that things were in place.by the time we got her to the casualty, her spontaneous breathing efforts had ceased. She had to be put on a ventilator(support device) and started on life supports…

…..these were the times that even you as a doc realise that not everything is in your hands, and then you pray for divine intervention!
….and then as we sat down at night, we all knew the reason behind this… the commonest cause of any attempted suicide in this age(..and when exams are not round the corner!) is a failed love affair!! Today as I sit and write this article I want you guys to tell me why do you think that people take this extreme step and put an end to the most beautiful of god s gifts’ – life!! What is it?? Infidelity..beingduped by your guy? Incompatibility? Parents not willing ( that’s the commonest etiology I can think of!!!) peer pressure?limitation of time? What! Tell me what is it and how do you guys think that these issues could be tackled!
I believe that if someone dumps you for another, you should be happy that you could see the true colours of this guy/gal before the irreversible thing happened and you should be strong enough and move on!(..though easier said than done, I admit!!!)but, never hurt yourself in this ordeal…plz don’t!
If its ‘incompatibility issues’ then, every effort should be made to sort them out! Sit and talk! And inspite of trying your best if someone does not understand, then there s not much that you can do! Right? But again..pl don’t end your life for that worthless thing which could never understand your love!nah!
And coming down to parental resentment, there are two things that I can think of..one, if the love is true, I believe that a little leniency could help! True love is one wonderful thing and the one s in ‘it’ will surely agree with me! pl don’t break this bond coz it deals with two lives and nothing can match the agony and despair of separation when there s no reason to move out.. it kills two lives at the same time! Two, if the guy/gal understand the fact that huge resentment exists for their relationship its better for them not get into anything like this, right at the outset(..again, easier said than done coz we all know that love happens even before you know that it has happened!!).. well I know that was a confusing one, na…
…but in the end all imgonna say is that love is one wonderful thing..its the best feeling that one can have,so please take care of your partner.. respect her, stand by her when she needs you the most! And in rough times believe in god coz if he has brought you to it, then surely he ll take you through it as well! Don’t end a life coz that can never be a solution to any of your problems!
Well that’s it, now I lay it open for my friends to gimme their views and inputs in the comments section(pl do that if u appreciate what I ve written… thanks!)……