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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Sometimes its just... a lot of DESPAIR!


I am bugged by a nuance of life… a lil misery and unfair!

As we go through bad phases in life we remember the past. How things ve happened. How it could ve been averted. How we reacted to a situation. How we let our egos and anger get the better of us. And how life can be unfair for a looonggg time. And how friends always suggest that- “don’t worry all will be well soon. This is just another phase. This too shall pass.. every dark cloud has a silver lining! There is always light at the end of the tunnel”…blah blah..and so on.

I ve seen smart guys lie and say that they ve taken rounds/seen a patient/ done a job, etc ! especially when they weren’t even in campus during that time. But people say it with such conviction that the boss would be so impressed that wow! Look how sincere this guy is! And then I ve seen the good sincere ones getting screwed coz they couldn’t lie. And for a minor issue they ve got punished and had their surgical work terminated! Life surely is unfair! I ve seen a good guy, my junior who would be up all day and night monitoring patients.. and when the boss came for rounds he would ve gone to the loo and his co would come and take all the praise! And this poor guy would receive more abuses and would be punished! I ve seen people protect their juniors who have screwed up patients bigtime but when it came to the junior, he wouldn’t extend the same courtesy to him. I ve seen people impressing seniors by coming for their rounds at 6am..and then do nothing for the rest of the day. Whereas the ones who worked all day wouldn’t be seen and would be marked as inefficient.

Another breed of people who ve suddenly come up ..are the “sweet talkers”! [Naah..not stalkers..] people who re absolute menaces, but would talk so sweet that you feel ..OMG! is he god s gift to mankind? These people get their work done and when you need them.. will never help you. Plus they ve an ability to cloud the boss s mind and perception. Inspite of being straightforward and sincere you will find the boss s opinion of you changing.. influenced by the guy/gal with the sweet tooth! These people look harmless, sound harmless and naïve..but re the ones who will screw you the worst! Take it from me.. in the world of today, if you cant recognize this species.. you will ve a tough time!

And then there re the people who would say nasty things and hurt you to the extent that you decide to put them off. But these could be the genuine ones..and they yell at you coz they re seriously concerned ..and that they really care! So in this topsy turvy modern era.. don’t view these class of people with suspicion.. do not hate them..coz they may be the only ones who talk straight!


And then there are the “opportunists”.. who look bening and talk foolish! But when they get an opportunity to get a head on.. they wouldn’t look back..simply wont care. It may be your turn to do a case today but the opportunist will talk to the boss and say that he hasn’t done enough and will take away the piece of cake! And all you can do is sit and stare.

Then there are a class of people who would torment you but in front of the world they will use the deadly weapon… sob sob..and sob stories! Some can give any actor a run for their money. And you will be surprised how the world still believes in their story… never underestimate the power of t.e.a.r.s… [im not talking abour a SVC/IVC/atrial tear here..for god s sake]

Well too much of negativity in the above paras.. I understand. Even im surprised that I ve written that coz I usually write about love and humour and real life relationships. But despair and some unfair stuff happening to close people I know made me broach this topic.


But good things also happen in life. There re people not from our generation.. we call them OLD! They ve not seen such characters in their times, not that their generation didn’t ve them but they were few! Not as abound as they re today! And looking at these old people you still feel that true love does exist. And the ability to trust people and help them selflessly ! they do that … and im sure when our generation turns that old, they wont extend a helping hand.. the way these people do. We care more for our own and less for others. A great example is when a natural calamity strikes and suddenly all re on the floor. Why? you think to help people isn’t it. But see them under a bioscope and you would see ..people want their names to be in the spotlight.. click umpteen pics so that you can see them doing the gr8 work..on social media..fb,twitter,etc. sadly its not what you do.. but how you project youself and show it to the world..thats all that matters nowadays. Do nothing but you still ve 420likes on the pics that you ve shared..ohh what a good Samaritan you are!

I remember a conversation that a friends mom was telling me the other day. When she was in a foreign country during her days there would be a lot of discrimination between the blacks and the whites. The blacks had separate seats in the bus. When a white or any elderly person would board the bus, they would offer their seat to them. In the years that followed the discrimination would become less[supposedly so] . now the new generation kids who had never seen their fathers suffer such plight[ read as ostracism] wouldn’t care a damn about manners and helping the elders. They would royally be seated when an elderly couple would stand. Ask them for a seat and they would make faces. Doesn’t this commonly happen still now.. how many times ve I seen the young guys seated in the bus whereas a lady with a kid on her is struggling to hold and stand. And yes these re the people who call themselves civilised!

I am happy that in my life so far I could meet a few genuine ones.. I ve hurt a few of them thinking that they were bad only to realise in the later stages that they were the best! And I ve done things for the wrong one who ve showed their true colours ,and I ve distanced myself from them just in the nick of time. So we all make mistakes.. but its important and pertinent that we learn from them, and not make them again..and better still revert the things that can still be undone! life is short..stay with the close ones..learn to recognise the false people..and keep safe distance!

And talking of unfair things happening, I still believe that if you re good ..good things will happen! And that there re also a few rare people who look good and talk sweet and will be by your side through thick and thin! RECOGNISE THEM early and keep them by your side always!

We recently had a patient, a very sweet and kind elderly lady! Talk to her once and you will know how nice people can be! And during bypass surgery she developed a deadly complication- aortic dissection! A 4hr surgery had now become a 12hr job.. and the morbidity and mortality associated with it… not to forget that the other systems [CNS,RS,Renals,etc] get affected in the process too, as multiorgan dysfunction sets in. but inspite of everything she pulled through albeit with a tracheostomy and ischemia of a toe… especially when you had given up ALL hope! And when she went home.. my joy knew no bounds…do good and GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU!So if you re good, good will come back to you eventually..and all will be well!

As usual its cardiac surgery and a few good people that ve taught me much! A BIG thanks to them!