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Saturday, April 9, 2016

Media stin umm!!!!


Mom im homeeeee!!!. Dhudd! He slumped the school bag on the cot… quickly gulped all the food much to his mother s dismay, and ran off to play! All the guys were already waiting with the bat and the rest of the cricketing gear.. chalo mahi s come… toss k liye ready ho jao!!!!!!!!..then an evenly contested game and finally.. yippee we won…hurrah! cuts and bruises galore..to show up that the fun was real! That s how it used to be in the 90s..

Hi dude! Howzzat.. wats up bro! Lets play World Cup Cricket man.. yup..lets do it. Swoosh.. everyone switches on their cellphones and start the game! Welcome to the future guys…these re the kids of the new world.. where real play has got replaced by virtual play.. playstations re the new playgrounds.. and knife yielding buggers with babes as the prized catch re the new world trophies on display! And soft porn distributed and shared via Bluetooth/wifi re the new pastimes!

Thankfully we belonged to a generation where Sundays were spent with mowgli and tales spin and duck tales followed by family outings and evening games! But today we re all slaves to that piece of paper with a huge potential to buy and sell.. and so we ve no time to spend with the ones we love.. and before you could decide what to do with so much currency paper earned…ahhhh there s the HEART attack …Gateway to Heaven! Game over folks… better gameplan next time!
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There re quite a few things that bug me.. most of it coz I get furious looking at the way the media latches on to an insignificant incident and keeps barking bout it day and night , just coz it has some viewership!

This lady is a billionaire. She and her ex husband plotted and killed her daughter from her 2nd husband. Ohh.. what a cold murder! Jump in her druggist son who too wants a piece of the limelight!

For God s sake there s also a mother in some corner of the country where she walks 3km to buy vegetables and water for her kids so that they can study well and ve a future, unlike her! Why cant you highlight that and get some rich baron fund her children s education. Surely this will reap in more rewards than funding a bikini gals calender!


She was the lead actress in that TV soap. What a lovely gal..and then suddenly she decided to commit suicide! And now she is on the front page of TOI,HT,etc ..shez AAJ KI BADI KHABAR on all news channels… really interesting! I must say the gal did ve a great intellectual thought process going! Intending to marry a drunkard who still sleeps with his ex, separated her from her parents, made his ex hit her, withdrew all her money and used it in his production house, got the gal drinking and into drugs ..and what a sweet gal, she did oblige! And now shez gone, and the media holds her up for the national mourning!


For god s sake, there was one MHATARAKAKA who sold cotton. His district went without rains for 3yrs in a row. He mortgaged his land and bought more seeds and machinery with the belief that the next year would be different.. sadly wishes aren’t horses and so beggars cant ride! With no one covering his plight and no one coming forward to help him out and covering his story.. tonight silently after everyone had slept off.. he dimmed the lantern in the room, but took it close to his Mrunalini s face ..saw those lil innocent eyes and clenched fists.. he soo wanted to touch her one last time, but feared that he may wake her up.. and so just left… walked a mile into the field.. sat beneath the tree he had planted as a child which had now grown to a huge mass of wood, sans leaves..sans fruits..sans life! Thhhusshh..creaked the strong branch.. and now both were lifeless.. he remained connected to the tree with that rope around his neck! Clearly reporting this wasn’t a part of the media radar!


Shauryadeep was flying high today.. a great pilot in a wonderful piece of JUNK which made its way into our artillery thanks to some corrupt babus at the top! Crashhh.. luckily he ejected ..and to his misfortune landed SAFE and ALIVE..in the neigbouring country! He was caught, treated as a spy.. eyes were burnt and gouged out, fingers and testicles were crushed, urine was poured into his throat when he asked for a last drop of water and finally beheaded.. and the decapitated head was affixed to the barbwire at the border. Like him many others valiantly fought day in and out to keep these neighbouring infiltrants at bay.. and many lost their lives EACH day! But will you find this in the news..no.. had Shauryadeep n co been a HEROrithik whose affair with a starlet got busted ..they would ve been on every paper! Sad that our soldiers couldn’t be half as important as the heart throb actor and his dame!



He was an individual with such great character and poise.. Ohh what a lovely man he was.. he just drank and made merry with women ..bedded the gals at will, killed animals and a few social animals who had encroached on the footpath as their new habitat! They conducted a battery of tests and investigations and finally came to the conclusion that on that fateful day.. all he had was honey tea and the car in which he was seated was on autopilot mode and so it ran over the few unfortunate lesser known mortals, perceiving their heads to be Rocks. Clearly it was their fault and for which the families of the deceased should pay him some compensation![Footpath kya unki father ki propery hai jo wahaan pe so gaye!Huhh!] He was by no means guilty, WAS HE?.. plus he did some splendid work by setting up an organisation which encouraged people to be more human to the needs of other..and ironically squashed a few under HIS tyres too!


For God s sake, there was this poor 27yr old lad who was the sole bread earner in his family of 4 dependants.. someone who had not given up on his dream to be a part of the Indian Army! And today he was the LEAD in the contingent that would march in front of the Chief Minister on 26th January. He was elated.. he wanted the whole contingent to march properly in unison.
“ Jawaan aage badho.. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT..” he kept moving forward.. suddenly out of nowhere came a huge Innova and just busted him on the spot.. his lifeless body plonked on the ground… LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT.. and now a lifeless piece of mass was all that was LEFT!!!!!! The driver kept on going till he bumped into the road block. He scampered out and ran.. he knew that he was the minister s son.. and that made him an UNTOUCHABLE, but of a different kind! This issue couldn’t be pursued by the media.. and thus after 4 mths and still inspite of knowing the culprit, he still moves..a free man! Clearly deaths of mere mortals cant be covered in great details… …
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Chalo I had enough of my dig into the media.. lets DIG at some other place!

I still remember that in our days of residency, we would not know what was breakfast, if our room existed in the hostel, when was the last time we had a proper bath, how to request for an off call… but we did know that all the ward work had to be done, each patient assessed with proper examination findings, phone would always be on silent mode eternally, we would never dare pick up the phone when the senior was around, etc etc.. but welcome 2016 and my students … clearly times ve changed!


The patient has arrived in the OT, had to be catheterised by a senior, painted and draped.. and now royally our dudeSTUD ent [ and not dude student] walks in.. after the consultant has done what should ve been his job! The case starts and suddenly at the loudest pitch you hear a melody..SANAM RE sanam re..tu mera sanam hua re![wish the consultant could sing the next line for him which says…karam re karam re ..tera mujh pe karam hua re!] Surprisingly these days the consultant phones re on silent modes and the juniors ka phone s humming with activity! Last to reach and first to leave, these guys have the benefit to sleep with their beds and pillows each day wherein in the earlier days if you found a chair, you would be deemed lucky! Coz the ground was all we had! And asking them to monitor a patient overnight would clearly be a violation of the human rights act! I remember a few unfortunate ones who worked like dogs and still would be insulted and yelled at and kept out of the theatre! And now even the most ridiculous ones re working and getting stuff to operate cz of petty politics and big people behind them!

Sad.. And then there re bosses who ve done thousands and thousands of surgeries but still wouldn’t let some work percolate down to their juniors… clearly even if 1% of that was offered to the juniors , wouldn’t it be a different learning experience!


There were those days where after doing a new surgery even if it didn’t go as well as was planned we would sit and analyse what went wrong.. accept if something more could ve been done! Now if something goes wrong people discuss people ..surgery is left behind! Bitching bout someone clearly is the easiest thing to do.. the second most easiest is to find a PUG and pin the blame on him! We re all mere mortals, not God.. so things will go wrong. But people these days will never accept that! This is the era of success and how successful you are is determined by your numbers.. a 35yr old proclaims that I ve performed 10000 cardiac surgeries so far.. technically if you dissect you will find that for a guy who s being operating independently for say 4 yrs.. 10000 div by 4= 2500 cases/yr.. which means 2500 div by 12= 200+ cases per mth ..which means 50+ cases per week.. isn’t that a ridiculous figure. Maybe the counting for them is different now.. when they do their first case they must be noting it as my 3001 case done today.. the count begins! So clearly the truth is lost within the numbers! Hips don’t lie..but lips do![wink..wink]


Talking of medical life.. I cannot forget this new approach I ve encountered! Well, let me call it..
THE PATIENT S APPROACH TO A DOCTOR AND HIS ILLNESS!
Being a doc , you re bombarded with illnesses whenever you visit your relatives! And in the smartphone era people google it all! I had known a relative who I had diagnosed to ve a malignancy in its initial phase which could be resected. Clearly since the educated expert had read that people with malignancy lose weight , become cachexic, have pains, etc etc.. and coz these symptoms weren’t there ..he self diagnosed himself that he was disease free[supported by some quacks that reinforced his views] Finally after 2 mths when the symptoms started, the lesion was now inoperable with mets! Next question to me was where do I go nw.. obviously I suggested the best Onco-hospital in Mumbai! So he went to Vellore, Hyderabad, Chennai and Delhi.. and came back completely confused. So again he asked what should I do.. my answer was the same.. but I just wonder why people are like this today! Free advise should never be offered coz WHAT COMES FREE IS NEVER VALUED!

I often encounter people asking me ..my sugars re deranged and I showed my Cardiologist who started me on these 2 tablets.. but then I also showed my Diabetologist who says start Insulin.. should I listen to his advise or should I go with the first one..tablets re better na! See I fail to understand .. this situation is akin to asking an ortho guy to analyse ur ECG…or askin a neuroguy about which prosthesis to use for a TKR[total knee replacement] .. when you ve a guy specialising in a branch why cant you follow his advise for GOD S SAKE!

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Last but not the least as I end this angry piece of work I discovered an interesting person and I just wanted to share this…


I ve often shopped and bought stuff like mobiles, tabs, music systems.. and whenever I ask for a discount people don’t give you even a penny off.. moreover if they know you re a cardiac guy the price will go up by 10% at times. Even people capable of waivering some amount will never do so! But these same people will ask you endless questions about the heart and ask you to write medicines for free!

Beside my building is a lane. Walk for 5mins and on the right side you will find a lady with 3 small kids and an alcoholic freakingly maniacal husband who keeps harassing her all the time. She makes rotis and sells them for a living. She is extremely poor and sells each roti for 2 rupees. A lot of people returning home from office buy some rotis on the way back. Once when I had bought 3 rotis but had only 5 rupees , I told her that I will get another rupee in 5mins.. she said.. its ok babu you needn’t pay 1 rupee. I know its just a rupee but for her business it’s a 50% loss. I gave her that rupee. People who re rich don’t spare a dime and look at the poor..!! Plus when her husband was ill one day she asked me to give her some medicines which I gladly did! What surprised me more was that she took out 25 rupees and said please take it..these re ur fees.. you should take it! I didn’t know what to say.. I politely refused and sent her back!

Seems that the world isn’t that bad a place after all.. what say folks??????????!!!!!!

Till next time… AUF WIEDERSEHEN!