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Oops… so the result was out! And I had no clue! And I was off whatsapp ever since I landed at Calcutta toh mujhe bhi nahi pata! Phone ka net bhi off rakha tha! Quickly I rushed to the terrace of the building and dialled Pranav s no.. in a whisper asked him.. Kyun be, result aa gaya kya! Mera kya hua!?? Thankfully he didn’t sound grim.. maybe I hadnt flunked after all.. I was simply choking with anxiety just as I was on the eve of my practical exams when I told a friend that I would simply jump off from the 12th floor of MSB block if I flunked this late in my carrier! [ yaar jo bhi karna hai zindagi mein jaldi karna chahiye.. fail hona hai toh 1st std ya 11th ya MBBS ya MS mein! But directly M.Ch mein honge toh log toh poochenge hi ki itne der baad fail hua! Sharam bhi nahi aati! Ab tak kya kar raha tha.. pehle na ho saka? Grrr!!!!!!!!]
Yipee.. toh aap sab ki dua se pappu pass ho gaya..dairy milk choc bhi khaya aur khub mithaiaa bhi baati! [ ..coz all these years I ve been taught one thing which im sure you all would recognise.. OM SIBI SED OMNIBUS… i.e. not for self but for all!!!!..isliye pede sabko khilani chahiye!]
Now is that phase wherein uncertainty looms ahead.. and stares at you right into your eyes!
“Nazar ke saamne ..jigar k paas.. koi rehtaa haii… woh.. tum…tumm…tummm!!!!!!”
Baap re.. kidhar jaau.. kyaa karu? Bond kidhar milega? Gharwalo ko bahu kab milegi!??? Kitne saare difficult difficult sawaal! Aur hai koi jawab… nahin! Nahin! Nahinnnn! Ab bas itna tension dimaagi kabootar ko denge toh who toh udd hi jayega na.. aur phir khaali haath baitho aur .. masakalli.. masakaali karte raho!
So I decided lets just forget all these and go back and trace out a few of those light and dark moments that we shared through the last few years!
Well cvts has always influenced my life in ways more than one, so lets start with our ward rounds.. ward rounds re when we present the histories of the patients we ve admitted and then our bosses throw those dreaded bouncers on the residents that they try to evade! We had one fellow called Sabaata who thought he knew most! So on rds he was asked… NYHA classifcation for dyspnoea mein NYHA ka full form kya hai? Some new york… he replied! Full form yaad nahi hai sir but classificn pata hai.. ok.. so what is the classificn was the next question ?
grade 1- dyspnoea on accustomed activity..
grade 2- dyspnoea on routine activity
grade 3- dyspnoea on running and climbing
grade 4— dyspnoea at rest!
Now what is the difference between accustomed and routine? Since they both mean the same? No answer! Ok.. next question while presenting a case of aortic valve replacement was.. what is the full form of EDM? Yess sir.. its ejection diastolic murmur?? Noo.. its end diastolic murmur!Godd!even a MBBS kid would have answered this question! Even the physiotherapist with us could! But going by the fact that this guy was getting married after 3 days, I think we should give him the benefit of doubt and emphatise! He must be pre occupied with the fact that blissful bachelorhood days were getting over..3..2..1.. gonee forever![all good things re finite,meaning thereby that,… there is a full stop at the end of this line.]hehe!!!!!!!!!
Next was when Pareshaan was asked the causes of mitral regurgitation.. sir there are 8 causes..
1. Rheumatic
2. Fibroelastin deficiency
3.barlow s syndrome
4… 5…6..7..8… err last ke yaad nahi aa rahe.. arree Einstein jab yaad nahi to 8 causes bolna zarroori tha kya..chup chap jitne aate hai bol deta.. this is what we, too, commonly do in our exams.. commit and then cant deliver! [ I think we do the same in life.. just before marriage..hehe.. tell the gal a hundred things and deliver an iota of that! Oops.. im yet to get married! Did I say it too soon!]
Next my memories went back to the day when mom got admitted! It was 5 days before my theory exams! I just knew one thing that I would be with her irrespective of anything! I was by her side and gave my papers hoping for the best .. and mentally preparing myself for the worst! It is at these times in your life that you realise that having 1250 friends on FB or 20 groups on whatsapp re of no help whatsoever! Having 5 good friends is all you need and you should be happy if you have them! I had friends in my batch for whom I had filled in during their duties, shared many a blame for their wrongdoings and had even bought books and study tables for them.. not to mention the fact that I had completed the full log book for one of them..written each page.. just cz he wanted to go home to see his newborn and asked me to! But suddenly when the need arose.. whoooshhh! Magic! They all vanished in thin air! Not that I would ask for help.. cz I usually brave the storm in solo mode! But just that its wonderful to know how people can ignore you this bad! Especially when these were the guys for whom you took the blame.. lost on your operative work for their mess! Funny…but one of them finally asked me on the last day of our exams ki Swarup tu hospital jaa raha hai kya? To which I replied nahii..abhi nahi! Ohhh.. hum soch rahe the tere mom ko milne aayenge but agar tu nahi hai toh humme kaun le jaayega wahaan.. chod baad mein milenge! Haan! Byee! …
..few people can actually ve the audacity to say this..right on your face! And I learnt to take that with a smile! Do but do not expect …is my mantra in life ever since! And I thank my dad for being the BIG supporting pillar through all this…and for saying every day, before I left for my papers..just do your bit and God will do the rest!
Next a funny incident comes to my mind.. a lil one over a time span of 5yrs.. two of my batchmates CP and KP[ Hushh.. noo its not chinmay patel and ketki pimple.. don’t look or search for them on fb!] fell in luv during the course of MBBS as most of us do..[some fall for books/guitar .. most for gals!err… reader’s discretion is advised!hehe!] KP s dad was an ex army man and CP was sure that he would be a dead duck if her dad found out that he was hunting his duckling! So we tried to think of a way.. so that we could get CP meet her parents and prime them gradually [as the priming solution in the heart lung circuit before going on pump!.. bad eg.. I know! But use your discretion and spare me.. upar advise kiya tha na!hehe!] and knowing the fact that Ganesh puja s the biggest festival in Maharashtra![ and remember… you re patauing a Maharashtrian gal/dad/family ..at the end of the day!] we decided to let the lord help them..[and yes we conceptualised it before the ABCD wale had the movie in mind! See!ekdum original ideaaa!abhishek bad badata tha..an idea can change ur life..an idea can change ur lifee! And we used it!] so we asked KP to get a Ganpati bhagwan home every yr for the next five! Every yr we would go visit her place and talk bout CP and his brilliance! waah!kya TT khelta hai[yeh sach tha!..] Waah!poora Harrison 3 baar padh daala[jab ki who Davidson padhta tha..Harrison toh kharida hi nahi tha!]! Waah! PSM mein Distinction laaya[kaunsa kaminaa psm mein D laata hai yaar!err.. if Aarti s reading this plz excuse me for a day!.. to know more bout Aarti plz read- ‘Nothings gonna change my luv for you’ in the previous sections’ on my blog!]waah! papa ka 3rd clinic khul gaya[shayad 2nd tha.. but we can be weak in maths na!!] Waah!usmle bhi clear ho gaya![sach tha!] finaly 5 saal ke kadi mehnat ke baad.. uncle ne haan bol hi diyaa!and they got married! Yahoo!!!!!!![ MORAL OF THE STORY- jo kaam khudse nahin hota, who doston se karwaoo!..wink.wink!]
This reminded me of another story of which I was a part since the gal here hoodwinked her parents using …ahem.. aage padho..
Well I guess I cant take names cz I would be in the line of fire! But since this seemed a very innovative idea.. and it worked! Let us share it for the benefit of…err…well..ehh..humanity! Well this gal was one of my best buddies since long and she was into this guy who was in our batch! And her parents knew me perfectly well and were under the impression that me and her were going around! Trust is indeed a big thing cz they wud ask her to stay at my place[if needed!] when they were going out of town! So every Sunday she would tell her parents that I m going to Swarup s home and then rush to meet her guy! But mom ne phone kiya toh madame to bahaar bhatak rahi hai! Ghar jaa rahi hun aise bolke aayi! Ab external noise[eg-movie hall, vehicles,etc] se mom ko pataa chalega na! toh kya karneka? Those were the days when everyone didn’t have cellphones around and people would call on ur landline! So madame ne kya kiya?? Usne apne cellphone[she had one] ka calls mere phone pe divert kardiya..[dekho..call divert ka option hota hai cell mein..check karo!] toh everytime aunty called I would pick the phone and say ..haan aunty bas abhi nikal hi rahe hai.. ya just abhi nikli aunty ghar ke liye..pahunch jaayegi thode der mein! Funny days those..i still remember unke calls ke baad I had to call her stat[yup!that was the pact!dost ki jaan aur bachaane ka kaam..anmol hote hai! Hehe!] and tell her ki meri maa jaldi ghar jaa warna mein maroonga!... aise risk leke pyaar karneka jo thrill hai..woh bhi anmol hota hai!tsk..tsk!!
Enter next.. ward no 6.. event- final yr mbbs ke exams.. this is one fun time where you cant recognise gals until your co-resident points out ki sir, yeh wohi hai jiske saath Unmil ka chakkar hai.. madame ko pehli baar salwar mein dekha toh pehchaan mein nahi aayi..you see.. this is the only day when suddenly all gals become bharatiya naaris and all fukhreys..gentlemen! And you get to see the whole gamut of lucky pens, colours, pendants, rings around you!
See conducting an exam is an awesome experience.. im not an MCP [readers’ discretion advised again!] but I believe that gals get away with many things that guys don’t… for eg if a cute looking gal ans 0 quest out of 5 put to her she gets passing marks whereas given the same circumstances and set of questions..even if the guy answers 1 correctly he is still on the brink! [don’t hit me gals.. but feminine charms do work..all gals know this but would never admit!m suree ..they re ready with their sandals now.. but as my friend says..SATYAMEY JAYATE!!...m sure Vrinda mam if you re reading this now.. you re nodding your head in approval!] Getting married or pregnant before the exams usually benefits you! After watchin all the saas bahu serials on tv your examiners exactly know what gals ve to go thro.. so why another harrowing experience!!!! I had one such lady who would say NO to everything put to her.. do you know the ans to my question..NO.. did you sleep well last night..NO.. did u have breakfast today morning..NO.. do you know the co author of a textbook in surgery called bailey and..??? ..NO.. do you want to fail..NO..and she did PASS! Yipee! The same batch had a similar guy who didn’t say a word.. saare specimens dikhaye..ek bhi identify nahi kiya.. finally usko examiner ne poocha ki bhai tujhe koi ladki acchi lagti hai tere batch mein.. after a long breath.. he said YES! Kaun re.. roll no 97..v good examiner ne bolaa.. aur usko FAIL kar diya![ moral of the story- ladki ke naa mein bhi ladko ke haan se jyaada taakat hoti hai!woh insano kon pigla deti hai!]
The senior bombay university casual batch exams were even more hilarious! One guy ..43yr old.. told the examiner that he was 5 batches senior to him in MBBS! YAAD HAI KYA..he asked! Another one was given a case of hydrocele and was asked his diagnosis.. he said bilateral hernia.. examiner ne poocha ..arre bhai hydrocele kyun nahi hai? Toh he replied..maine pt se poocha toh usne hernia bola and pt takleef mein hai, who jhoot thodi na bolega!!!!!!!!Another one was asked to describe any surgery he knew..hernia, hydrocele , lipoma excision.. but ek taraf mehmaan nawaazi doosre taraf shaanebaazi.. bhai ne bola.. I will describe Whipple s procedure!khali phukat pair pe kulhaadi!
Well…
Itne saare incidents hai ki I can go on and on.. my mind attic is stuffed to the core with such sorry state affairs and weirdos that ll probably never end..for eq- the radio rank 1, Chachadon..this guy felt that he was the best in everything..hiss narratives would be like..ek baar mein apne board ke exams ke liye 1ghanta late pahuncha ..3 ghante ka paper tha aur maine ek ghanta pehle hi complete kar diya..aur phir do revision lagaya!
Maana ki hum anari hai Chachadon, but thode bahot exams humne bhi di hai yaar!
CHODO JAANE DO YAAR.. I ll end this post here.. bas ho gaya yaar.. kal OT hain and 4 cases hai.. VSD, TOF, CABG and MIDLINE REDO AVR! Phew.. time to say good nite.. sleep well!
PS-in case you re wondering bout the title..plz don’t ask me.. I just wanted to use the word ‘romcom’ in the title of a post I write someday..so aaj hi sahi!..im new to these marketing strategies! socha romcom sunn ke log padh toh lenge!agar 'shuddh desi romance' namak movie chal sakti hai toh 'romcom' wala article kyu nahi!?? ………..
